Pasta! Say it with me now… PASTA! Atkins can just bite me. Carbs are your friend. If you’re fat, get off your ass. Jog on down to the nearest Krispy Kreme and enjoy yourself. I’m about 20 pounds (or so) overweight. I’m just guessing here, but I’ll bet that it would be healthier to cut back a little overall on my food intake and move around a bit more than to eliminate an entire food group from my diet.

The last straw was when Tracy offered me a low-carb Dorito. Yep, a low carb Dorito fer chrissakes. It was not unlike eating paper with some sort of Dorito flavor sprinkles on it.

No thanks. Just pass the bread, please.