The final Lord of the Rings sucked. I may be the only person alive who thought so, but I want my 3 hours, 21 minutes back right now!

Synopsis:

Scene One: Two kids and an annoying CG critter who squeaks nothing but the word “precious” walk around on rocks and argue over which one of them is the bad guy.

Scene Two: A huge battle sequence between two armies of unknown origin.

Alternate between those two scenes for three hours.

Then, show a few kids, aka “hobbits” jumping up and down on a bed and then going home to their little Dr. Suess houses.

Whatever.