Someday, when I have an extra mountain of cash just sitting around, I’m going to buy a movie theater. A nice one, with just one screen. I’m going to keep everything clean and shiny and probably throw down some velvet.  I’m going to show quality films that I think folks will enjoy. You’ll never see a single commercial and the films will always start on time. You’ll be able to buy popcorn and soda – cheap, because it really doesn’t cost $6.00 to make a bucket of the stuff.

Then I’m going to hire ex-convicts as ushers. Lots of em. They’ll carry clubs and not hesitate to use them on any asshole who talks at all during the movie. You don’t want to know what they’ll do to you if your phone rings – I don’t care if it was an accident.